I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
