You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
