Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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