i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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