Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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