i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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