ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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