But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
