I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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