would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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