Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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