Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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