when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize