Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize