Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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