I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
