before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
