i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need water and some morals
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
