evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
