I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
