it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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