I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
