We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
