look no pants
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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