i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
