What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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