IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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