He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
