we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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