bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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