my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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