So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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