You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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