can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
