if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
