conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
