what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
