ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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