his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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