in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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