I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize