when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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