I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
