What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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