hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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