I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
