He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The air was thick with penises
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
