You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
