no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
