And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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