True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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