I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
