Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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