There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize