dude i'm inner monologue high
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
