Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
