can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize