I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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