Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
