Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
