R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
