six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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