Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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